Confidence is a combination of mindset, actions and the people around you
If you had all the confidence in the world, what would you do?
When I ask a client such a question, it takes a moment, it baffles and then, the beauty of the process begins.
Confidence is something which is within us, we build confidence by looking at ourselves differently, by reminding ourselves about what we are good at, by shifting towards the growth mindset. By combining a number of steps and actions, the journey towards building confidence begins.
As a coach, I have had the privilege to work with many clients, from different backgrounds, experiences, senior level to those just starting to step the career ladder. From my experience, most of us at some point will have some kind of limiting belief about ourselves and in turn, this impacts confidence levels.
The good news is that confidence can be built and in a way which reaps lasting benefits. As with any change, this is a process which can take time and small steps to get to where you want to go.
As a coach, I have met people with many types of experiences and here is a small view into how a coaching conversation can go:
Client: I just got promoted and I have no idea that I can do the role. I mean, there are much better people than me in the company
Coach: What skills do you have to do the job?
Client: I have all the skills, I have been doing this job for a while and I supported the previous role holder
Coach: So, what is making you feel that others may be better at it
Client: I have been told that by some people who found out about my promotion
Coach: What did other people say?
Client: The people who are happy for me, they have been congratulating me, they have taken me for lunch and have said that I am so the right person.
Coach: You stated two things – you have done this job for a while and know how to do it and that people have told you how that you are the right person, what does this evidence show you?
Client: That I can do the role and I need to remember my skills and spend more time listening to the positive things rather than people who are not supportive.
The coaching conversation continues, we delve into the steps the client can take to hone their confidence levels.
There are ways in which we can move towards confidence by taking proactive steps ourselves. Here are some of the key tips which can be implemented:
1.Move towards a growth mindset
Carol Dweck’s work on the growth mindset provides a real practical and insightful look into how our mindset impacts the way we view ourselves and the lives we lead. Move towards the perspective that you can learn and grow and that experiences provide an opportunity to learn.
Spend time with supporters
– having people give you a realistic perspective is useful, having someone tell you that your dreams and ideas are “stupid” is not. Surround yourself with people who say the right words in the right way. Those who know it will be hard nevertheless, they support you towards your goal.
Find a sounding board:
one of the reasons why coaches are so good is because they listen to you and your ideas from an objective perspective. Friends and family may slate the idea, the coach will ask powerful questions and challenge you to think of all perspectives.
if there is one thing we notice about a confident person, it is that they walk into a room with the right persona and body language. A strong body language boosts the physiology and psychology. Before you go onto a call or a meeting, practice the strong body language, you will speak confidence even before you utter a word.
Having the idea and desire to build confidence starts in the mind and heart and shows itself in the actions we take. Taking the steps to move towards your goal are key. It is about trying something different, stepping outside of the comfort zone to find that support group.
What does the confident you look like, believe in and act like?
Philippe Mathijs is the CEO and Co-Founder of Reach Outstanding. He is an award-winning executive coach and experienced leader across many industries. He works with clients to achieve their goals and create the best version of themselves. Philippe’s mission is to tap into the potential of others to create a ripple effect for good.
Want to know more about coaching with Philippe?
Get in touch with him today firstname.lastname@example.org